


Never Have I Ever

by moonymoment



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual James Potter, Drinking Games, Drunk Remus Lupin, Fluff, He's so cute, James Potter is Whipped, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Never Have I Ever, Remus Lupin is a Little Shit, he freaks out, its all his fault really, neither of them actually get outed dw it's just the relationship itself, protective big brother sirius black, regulus is HAPPY!!!, sirius black is overdramatic, sirius finds out about james and regulus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonymoment/pseuds/moonymoment
Summary: “Don’t you dare, Moony-” he warned, but Remus waved him off and cleared his throat.“Never have I ever,” Remus started, leaving a long pause for anticipation to build up, “snogged TWO members of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”He finished the sentence with a shit-eating grin on his face, and James somehow looked ready to both cry and burst into hysterical laughter.or: the one where Sirius finds out James is deflowering his little brother and all hell breaks loose.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 33
Kudos: 475





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy this is my first post lol it's just a dumb little scenario i imagined and HAD to write bc i'm weak for jegulus and for regulus and sirius being close brothers ... i hope u enjoy <3

“Never have I ever… snogged a Hufflepuff.”

It was a lazy Friday evening in Gryffindor Tower. Mock exams for sixth years had just ended, and Sirius had banged out two bottles of firewhiskey that he had smuggled from god-knows-where to celebrate. It had taken a good ten minutes for them to figure out how to transfigure placemats into small, glass shot glasses (Peter had smashed the last set they had last month, in a tragic accident involving a dog animagus and a Fanged Frisbee), but they had eventually made enough for the small group of them to take a shot, toasting to “freedom from exams” - only to be rudely reminded by Remus that their actual end of year exams were going to take place in a matter of months. Lily threw a cushion at him, hitting him with an OOMPH and evoking high-on-life laughter from all of their friends.

About an hour or so in, Lily had suggested they play a muggle party game called “Never have I ever”. Mary immediately backed this, and they both turned to Remus, (the only other person raised by a muggle) expectantly - met with an awkward smile, as the blonde boy was just as clueless as the rest of the gang raised in the wizarding world.

It was simple enough, however, to get the hang of - take a shot if you have, don’t if you haven’t - and they went around the group giving suggestions. Due to the competitive nature of a select few people in the circle (namely, Sirius and Marlene), the game quickly became a vicious pile-up of secrets that they used smugly against the others.

“Never have I ever howled at the moon,” Lily was saying, evoking an eyeroll and a dry “very funny, Evans,” from Remus, who took his shot willingly. What Lily didn’t notice, however, was the skilfully out of sight shot taken by Sirius, much to the amusement of James and Peter.

Marlene was next, and she hummed lightly, eyes flickering around the group to determine who her next victim would be. They rested upon Remus, sitting by her side _(“please, not again,”_ ) and then flickered to Mary, and she smirked, having made up her mind.

“Never have _I_ ever,” she started with a tipsy grin on her face, “snogged a member of _The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black_ ,” she finished, putting on a rather exaggerated posh accent to deliver the full title of Sirius’ beloved family. He scoffed and threw a pillow at her, which she caught. She turned to Remus, who said, “I hate you, McKinnon,” in a playful jeer and threw his shot back with vigour.

He shuddered, opening his eyes and was met with Sirius, who shot him a wink from across the group. Remus flipped him off.

Two other members of the small group had taken a shot at Marlene’s turn. Mary - which was unsurprising, as they had dated on and off for the majority of their third year and had snogged in every area of the castle possible - and James. Lily whipped around and raised her eyebrows in shock, evoking a fit of loud, hearty laughter from Sirius, and a shy smile from James.

“He was my first kiss,” said James, matter-of-factly, “and… my second, and third,” he finished with less confidence. The girls, who had not known this, sat in disbelief. Sirius guffawed still, giving James a high five and a _“Fuck yeah I was!”._

And Remus, who had been sat quiet since taking his shot, buzzed with a sudden idea. He knew it was dirty, but the firewhiskey seemed to have soaked whatever part of his brain made rational decisions, and he was suddenly very excited that it was his turn next.

James Fleamont Potter was many things. He was loud, friendly, cunning, talented. He was good with a broom, good with a quill, good with a wand. Remus even knew first-hand, after a particularly drunken party in fourth year, that he was good with his mouth. But above all, James Potter was painfully, openly, and disastrously bisexual.

It had been a revelation in his third year, made to his three friends in their dorm room by a very panicked James who had been at Quidditch practice and found he had spent more time looking at the sixth-year beater Belby’s arse than the bloody Quaffle. Sirius had immediately assured James that it was okay, that he didn’t have to be one or the other, but he could be both - _they_ could be both. Two birds, one stone.

And that was how Remus, who was painfully closeted, painfully homosexual and _excruciatingly_ in love with his best friend had realised that maybe he had a chance. But that wasn’t the story he was rehashing here.

James, over the three years since this revelation, had come out to every person in the room currently, both willingly and unwillingly (Marlene (ironically - or perhaps unfortunately - the only lesbian) had walked in on him getting off with a Ravenclaw, and her screams of anguish could be heard all throughout Gryffindor Tower). Remus rationalised this in his head and decided that James exposing him for getting with that Slytherin in third year earlier deserved payback.

“Your turn, Remus,” Lily proclaimed, tipsily leaning her head onto Mary’s shoulder. Remus smirked, and his eyes flickered to James. The messy-haired marauder, despite fitting all dumb jock stereotypes, was not stupid, and his face fell into a cold look of realisation immediately.

“Don’t you _dare_ , Moony-” he warned, but Remus waved him off and cleared his throat.

“Never have I ever,” Remus started, leaving a long pause for anticipation to build up, “snogged _TWO_ members of _The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black_.”

He finished the sentence with a shit eating grin on his face, and James somehow looked ready to both cry and burst into hysterical laughter.

Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Two?” he mumbled, lazy, glazed over eyes scanning the people sat around him.

James, after a painful moment of silence, threw his shot back with confidence, wincing and slamming the glass down with a thud. Remus was looking at him with a wide grin, and James shook his head, his own smile growing.

“You are going straight to hell, Moony.”

Remus laughed loudly, and it was at this moment that the puzzle pieces in Sirius’ brain apparently fell into place.

“AH-” he yelped, pointing at James, mouth open. The air hung heavy in the room. Lily’s jaw was practically on the floor, Mary’s not far behind it, and Marlene hid the lower half of her face behind her hand, shaking in silent laughter. “YOU- _YOU_ -”

James’ lips formed a tight line, finally looking up to meet Sirius’ eyes. Remus didn’t think Sirius had ever looked more horrified in his life, and it took every cell in his body not to burst into laughter (again, like Marlene, who by this point had silent tears streaming down her face).

“Wait,” Mary started, shaking her head, “Wait, wait, wait- I mean, I…” she stared at James with a look of disbelief. “ _Which one?”_

“Come on, Mare,” James groaned. “I’m not exactly going to be banging Bella the crazy bitch, am I?”

“ _BANGING?”_ Sirius practically screamed, and James turned as white as snow.

“No- _no_ , oh my god Padfoot-”

Sirius scrambled to his feet, knocking over the bottle of firewhiskey by his side, eyes wide and gaze hard. He took one look at James, at Remus, then back at James, and turned on his heel to stalk off towards the staircase. “ _REGULUS! REGULUS!_ ”

“He’s hardly going to be up there, is he?” Remus shouted, but Sirius had already disappeared up the stairwell.

Lily took this opportunity to hit James full force on the arm, dropping her hands from where they had been covering her mouth in shock. “Regulus? _Regulus?”_ she gasped, and James groaned again.

“Yes, that _is_ his name, well done-”

“When?” gasped Marlene, and James sighed.

“Fourth year.”

Remus cleared his throat, and James scowled at him. “…And fifth year.”

Remus cleared his throat again, and if he hadn’t been so drunk, he would almost be scared James was going to kill him in his sleep.

“…And a little bit earlier this year, too.” James finished, running a hand over his face and avoiding eye contact with anyone. Mary and Lily were both laughing in disbelief; Lily pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered _“Holy motherfucking shit, Potter”_ under her breath.

Marlene opened her mouth to say something but was immediately quietened by the sound of Sirius stomping back down the stairs. James looked up, frantic, and pointed at Remus.

“If he kills me, I’m gonna fucking _kill_ you.”

Remus bit his lip, grinning, as Sirius entered the room, gaze fiery and Marauders Map clutched in his hands. He stalked up to James and Remus held his breath.

It was okay, for the time being, as all he did was grab James by the ear and turn on his heel to stomp towards the portrait hole. James yelped and scrambled to his feet, yelling “ _Okay_ , I’m coming, _FUCK_ , Sirius-” as they walked further away from the group and out into the corridors.

Remus, Lily, Marlene and Mary exchanged quick glances with each other, and surprisingly Lily was the first to move, slapping her hands onto her knees and announcing “Well, I’m not missing this.”

Regulus was not in the Slytherin dormitories, the gang quickly gathered, as Sirius led them to a separate part of the castle. He hopped down the stairs in front of them, having released James’ ear and compromised with a firm grip on his arm instead. They made it down to the third floor, and Remus spotted Regulus perched on one of the windowsills, alone and reading rather peacefully. The Slytherin spotted his brother stalking towards him and practically flew to his feet, slamming his book shut and looking between James and Sirius with wide eyes.

Sirius and James skidded to a halt in front of the younger Black, the rest of the still-tipsy Gryffindors not far behind. Sirius hesitated, looking between them both, as if he hadn’t planned this far and was unsure of where to start.

It turned out he didn’t have to, because Regulus said the first word.

“How’d he find out, then?” he asked, directed at James, who smiled sheepishly and answered “Drinking game,” with a shrug. Regulus nodded.

Sirius gaped, looking between the pair frantically, before he found his voice.

“YOU? AND- AND _YOU_ -” he said, gesturing wildly between the two of them. James winced, but Regulus simply rolled his eyes.

“Sirius, dear brother, do shut up or you’ll wake up Peeves.” Sirius’ eyes widened comically. It was a long, painful moment before he said anything again.

“How long?” he asked, still angry but significantly quieter. Regulus inhaled sharply and Sirius raised his eyebrows in a warning.

“You’re not going to like it-”

“How. Long?”

“…Three years?"

Sirius’ eyebrows raised with so much vigour it seemed they were about to slide up off his head and fly away.

“ _THREE YEARS_ -”

“Give or take.”

Sirius let go of James with a start and backed a step away. “I don’t know which one of you to kill first,” he said, hands running through his hair. James sighed, and Sirius began to pace.

“How do I- I just- _you_ \- and my little _brother_ and- and-” he cut off with a low groan, head falling into his hands, “oh, dear fucking Merlin’s ballsack _he’s_ my brother _too_ , this is actually fucking _INCEST-”_

_“Sirius!”_

“Padfoot, please don’t make it weird…”

“DON’T MAKE IT--” Sirius shrieked, and then began to laugh, hysterical and unhinged. “He- “ _Don’t make it weird”_ he says, oh my _GOD_ you have been deflowering my brother for _three years_ and it’s supposed to _not be_ _weird?”_

James sighed exasperatedly, but Regulus just screwed up his face in confusion.

_“Deflowering…?”_

“We didn’t- If it means anything, Pads, we _didn’t…”_ James cut in, gesturing wildly, obviously not wanting to say the words.

Regulus looked at Sirius and nodded supportively. “Flowers are all very much intact, big brother.” He said, with a nervous smile. Sirius looked aghast.

“It was just- look, it just- it was an accident,” James said, looking to Regulus who nodded eagerly. “We were both lonely, and struggling at the time, and he was just- _there,”_

Regulus coughed, slightly, and Sirius’ eyes narrowed. “Do _better_ , Potter,” he warned.

“Yes, please do better, Potter, I don’t want to have to be questioned for _murder_ ,” Regulus hissed, low enough so that only Sirius and James could hear him. James ran a hand through his hair and turned back to Sirius.

“No, that’s not what I _mean_ , he- okay we got to talking, right, and he was so upset over something that had happened at home and I- I was upset, too, I don’t even remember what over and we k- we kissed,” he coughed, obviously treading lightly. Regulus stood beside him, chewing his lip. “And it just became… a regular thing.”

Sirius, who’s mouth had fallen open slightly, closed and he chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. “How regular?”

Regulus sighed, and James replied “Uh- maybe once… once a week?” He said, looking at Regulus for support, who just shrugged. “It wasn’t _planned_ , we didn’t have a fucking snog schedule, Pads,”

Sirius exhaled sharply at the word _snog_ , rubbing his hands over his eyes. It was about here that Regulus decided he had had enough of walking on eggshells.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” he grumbled, before grabbing James by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down into a kiss, ignoring the loud exclamations from Sirius and the gasps from the group behind him.

James immediately melted into him, mouths working against each other perfectly, like they had all those times before. James’ hands gripped onto Regulus’ waist and Regulus slid his upwards, tracing James’ jaw, before digging into his messy hair, evoking a smile from the taller boy. He kissed James with the passion of someone who was trying to be spiteful, but also someone fuelled by hunger that had built up after so many months without touch. James unconsciously pulled him closer, biting his lower lip ever so softly, and Regulus suddenly became aware that Sirius had fallen silent. He released James with a loud smack, placing one last, soft kiss on his lips before untangling the taller boy from him, and turning to look at his brother.

Sirius’ jaw had dropped, but the look of shock had fallen slack and been replaced with the hint of a furrowed brow. His eyes flickered between the two, in confusion. He closed his mouth and cleared his throat, gaping for a moment before deciding on what to say next.

“So, you…” he croaked quietly, pointing between the both of them, “You’re…”

Regulus groaned.

“Yes, getting off, whatever you want to fucking call it-”

“…happy?”

“-s’not like I just gave you a whole fucking _demonstration_ \-- wait, what?”

Regulus blinked. Sirius licked his lips and took a deep, trying breath.

“Are you happy?” he said, and it seemed that this time he was not asking the both of them, but Regulus alone. He looked deep into the eyes of the brother that seemed to be more like him every day, and the three lonely words seemed to ask a million questions.

Regulus stared, for a moment, before nodding. “Yes,” he said hoarsely, before clearing his throat and trying again. “Yes, I am. _We_ \- we are.”

James hooked his arm around Regulus’ waist, and Sirius’ eyes locked on the gesture. His cheekbones hollowed in the same way Regulus’ did when he was biting the inside of his cheek in anguish.

It was a long moment before any of them spoke again.

“I don’t like it.” Sirius said, crossing his arms, and Regulus let out a dry laugh.

“I knew you wouldn’t.”

“And I don’t like that I found out through a fucking drinking game, from my _boyfriend_ -” Sirius cut off, and his eyes glazed over. James gulped nervously.

“You told… Remus.” He said slowly.

“Not willingly,” Regulus answered quickly, “He walked in on us.”

“And if it makes you feel any better,” Remus piped up from where he was observing a few strides away, “it was absolutely traumatising.”

“How? _How_ would that make me feel any better, Moony?”

Remus frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve had too much whiskey.”

Sirius laughed, fond and genuine for the first time since James had taken that damn shot and pointed an accusatory finger at his boyfriend. “We will be having words later.”

Remus winked.

“Well, if you want something that _will_ make you feel better,” James said, pulling Sirius’ attention back to them, “we broke it off at the beginning of this year because of you. Well- _mainly_ , because of you, but also because the lives we lead are so incompatible and…” he paused, and his next words came out as barely a whisper. “With the way things are going, I don’t want to risk losing anything more than I have to.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Sirius asked. James sighed.

“It means I realised that if I lost him I would lose my mind, and distancing myself while I thought I still could seemed like the best option at the time.”

Regulus frowned and turned to face James.

“ _Thought_ you still could?” he whispered, and James scoffed, thumb rubbing circles against the smaller boy’s waist.

“Don’t be stupid, Reg.” he said softly, biting his lip. “I think we both know that I can’t do that. I don’t know who I was kidding.”

Sirius was looking back and forth between the pair, expression softer now, lips parted slightly. Regulus felt his eyes prickle with tears and blinked rapidly, turning to his brother and taking a deep breath.

“You’re not just… getting off, are you?” Sirius murmured. “This is…” he gestured between the two lazily, “This is… more.”

Regulus took another deep breath and looked at the floor. “We haven’t exactly spoken about it, but-”

“I love him.” James said, suddenly, and it was the most confident he had sounded all night. Regulus’ head snapped up to lock eyes with James, and for a moment all thoughts of Sirius melted away and it was just the two of them.

“You don’t have to say it back, Reg. But I love you,” James whispered, barely audible, and this time Regulus’ tears fell.

He smiled, grasped James’ free hand, and nodded, and James knew.

A sob dragged them out of their bubble, and the pair’s heads snapped up to find it had come from Lily, who was squeezing Remus’ hand and crying large, happy tears.

“Oh, god,” she sniffled, fanning herself with her other hand, _“It’s just so sweet!”_

Regulus took a deep breath and his eyes fell on Sirius. His older brother’s eyes were also shimmering with tears, and his gaze was fixed upon their linked hands. His expression was incomprehensible, and Regulus took a quick, uncertain look at James before clearing his throat.

“Sirius,” Regulus said, filled with a wavering air of confidence, “I’m sixteen. And I’m my own person. I know what I want. _This_ is what I want.”

Sirius bit his lip in contemplation and then sighed deeply in defeat, running a hand over his face again with a groan.

“Merlin, Reg, all of the people in this fucking school and you pick _this_ insufferable prat.”

James laughed, loud and heartily, and Regulus’ lips twitched and when Sirius’ hands fell, he saw that his older brother was laughing too. James detached himself from Regulus and approached Sirius hesitantly.

“So…” he started, “We’re good?” Sirius scoffed.

“Yeah, we’re good, you absolute wanker.” James grinned and pulled Sirius into a bone crushing hug. “But you try anything funny and I’ll skin you alive, Potter. Half of me came from Walburga Black, don’t you fucking forget it.”

Regulus laughed outright at this, nodding fondly. Sirius let go of James and turned to his little brother, and their smiles faltered slightly. After an awkward moment, Sirius exhaled and smiled.

“Oh, c’mere, you big idiot.”

Regulus grinned and fell into his brother’s arms, and Sirius wrapped his arms protectively around his smaller brother, swaying ever so slightly. Regulus dug his head into Sirius’ neck, breathing in deeply, and then manoeuvred his head so his chin was resting on Sirius’ shoulder. “Thank you,” he murmured, gripping him tightly. He felt Sirius chuckle slightly against him, and felt his head move to rest next to his ear.

“He hurts you, I’ll kill him,” Sirius whispered, evoking a loud laugh from Regulus. They pulled apart and Regulus rested his hands on his brother’s shoulders, quirking his lip and scanning his face.

“Mmmm… no you won’t,” Regulus said fondly. Sirius laughed once more and shrugged his hands away.

James approached them and hooked his hand around Regulus’ waist once more, as if testing the waters. Sirius’ eyes flickered to it and back again, and he simply smiled and nodded, turning tail towards Remus.

“Come on, Moonbeam, let’s get you sober,” he said fondly, wrapping an arm around his own boyfriend and pressing a kiss into his hair.

Regulus smiled at the interaction and turned back to James, who was staring down at him. Regulus quirked an eyebrow. “What?"

James shrugged. “Wanna come back up with us?” he asked and inclined his head towards the three girls and Peter, who were waiting for them. Lily was beaming, her arm slung around Marlene, tears still lingering in her eyes.

Regulus looked over the new, welcoming faces waiting for him, and then back up to the face that he both knew and loved so much. He smiled.

“Yeah, I think I do.”


End file.
